From Joy and The Girls: A Snippet from VII

March 2015 Blog from The BOOB Girls

BOOB Girls VII: Ten Little Puritans is almost ready!!

And you can pick the plot for BOOB Girls VIII

Contents: A Snippet from VII

Picking the Plot for VIII

Speaking Schedule

The girls are back at the not-so-haunted bed and breakfast in Salem’s Crossing, helping with a great Puritan descendant’s reunion. Problem is, the Puritans keep disappearing along with ten beautiful Puritan dolls. And the disappearances match a spooky poem just like in an Agatha Christie mystery.  There’s a suspicious black horse and carriage, more weird names and an unhappy employee from Butch Sleezer’s Fertility Clinic. All combine to make on of the most enjoyable books in The BOOB Girl series. Here’s how VII introduces itself to you on page 1:

Zed Zonker was prancing . . . prancing . . . doing high kicks like a young man leading a marching band, his cane serving as a pounding baton. The cane hit the floor of the Meadow Lakes dining room in strict time to his left foot. Prance – clump– prance – clump.  His physical therapist would have been proud.  He wore high-top black sneakers and was waving a black top hat in his left hand, smiling and waving to an open-mouthed lunch crowd who were paying rapt attention. Zed’s smile beamed under his bushy mustache and he bounced gaily in rhythm. Other than the sneakers and top hat, Zed Zonker was as naked as a jaybird. His aged private parts were bouncing in exactly opposite time to his prancing.

Diners in the back of the dining room were standing to get a better look. No one wanted to miss anything.. Directly behind Zed, and gaining ground rapidly, was Fuss N’ Feathers, the oversized rooster who ruled the Meadow Lakes chicken yard. The big rooster’s head was lowered, his wings spread, his beak open, ready to grab an ankle in a death grip.

Dashing into the dining room was the third star of the show; Sheryl, the new assistant manager at the retirement community. Sheryl’s face matched the rooster’s in determination and grit. She, too, was bent low, gaining on both bird and bare-assed man. Just as Zed turned and prance-kicked down the hall toward the elevators, Sheryl leaned forward even further, nearly lost her balanced, grabbed the rooster and, holding him in both hands, crashed through the side door of the dining room and threw Fuss N’ Feathers high into the air. She grabbed the door frame to keep her balance and let out a gust of held breath. Then she turned back into the dining room, rubbed her hands together and walked with great dignity back toward her office. Four red feathers floated gently to the ground outside the big window.

Help Pick the Plot for BOOB Girls VIII

 I would like to end up with twelve books in the series in honor of Table 12. And I want you to be part of it all. The next book’s working title is:

The BOOB Girls VIII: Nursery Rhymes and Testy Crimes

We will create some crimes which will be committed in the Omaha area that match your favorite nursery rhymes.

Example: Sing a Song of Six Pence

A pocket full of rye

Four and twenty blackbirds

Baked up in a pie.

A local bakery finds 24 dead blackbirds laid out like an arrow, pointing to an empty pie case where all the pies have been stolen.

Here’s what you do:

1.     Remember your favorite nursery rhyme.

2.     Figure out what criminal activity would challenge our girls.

3.     Email it to me at joy.johnson@msn.com

Everyone who submits a nursery rhyme will be thanked in the book and receive a free, inscribed copy. Remember, Ten Little Puritans will be out late spring and at that time I’ll start working on Rhymes and Crimes, so send me your ideas now.

Speaking Schedule - for A Speaking Engagement see email and phone below

March 7: EngAge Health Fair, Elmwood Tower, 9am.

March 11: Papillion Women’s Club,  1pm Trinity Lutheran Church

March 12: Rose Blumkin Home, 1:30pm

March 14- Carroll IA library, 2pm

March 21: Lord of Love Lutheran WELCA, 9am