“No New Year’s Resolutions!” Hadley Joy Morris Whitfield said loudly.
“No New Year’s Resolutions!” Mary Rose McGill Repeated.
“Absolutely No New Year’s Resolutions!” Marge Aaron almost yelled.
“Absolutely Amen!” Robinson Leary almost whispered.
The 7pm to 10pm
New Year’s Eve Party at Meadow Lakes Retirement Community had ended. It
had been fun with a top—notch program, music, jokes and tables laden to
overflowing with appetizers made by the residents. Champagne graced
every table along with wines and mixes and even more than one soft
drink. It was a good time and now The BOOB Girls, Hadley, Mary Rose,
Robbie and Marge were in Hadley’s apartment finishing the evening with –
what was for them – a late night glass of wine.
“Let’s
do something totally weird and different for the New Year,” Mary Rose
said. Since she had lost sixty pounds and found her moxie nearly six
years ago, Mary Rose McGill, sweet Catholic girl, had developed a
mischievous steak that was not only fun, but also creative.
It
was Hadley though, who came up with the first idea. “Tomorrow, New
Year’s Day, we all go down to the lobby and when people come by and
congregate and pick up their mail I am going to be there eating from a
jar of Mayonnaise.” They looked at her.
“It’s
simple,” she explained. “I’m going to empty out a jar of mayonnaise,
fill it with vanilla pudding and stand around eating it. People will be
sure I’m eating the Mayonnaise right out of the jar.”
Mary
Rose laughed. “I,” she said with a flourish, “will be wearing my big
T-shirt with the word LIFE on it and I’ll be handing people lemons.”
“When
LIFE hands you lemons,” Robbie said, “make lemonade.” She thought for a
minute. “I’m going to fill every shot glass I have and all of you have
with pickle juice, put them on a tray along with that big bottle of
Mountain Dew in the Marge’s refrigerator and invite everyone to a glass
of the new Diet Mountain Dew for Seniors.” She smirked and evil little
smirks. They all looked at Marge, retired homicide detective.
She
paused for just a second. “In keeping with my profession, if I could I
would hire two private detectives and have them trail each other. But
that wouldn’t be any fun here, so I’m going to give Zed Zonker $20, tell
him I borrowed it from Wiley Vondra without Wiley’s knowing it and have
him track Wiley and slip it in his pants without his knowing it. Then
I’m going to give a twenty to Wiley and have him slip it to Zed without
Zed noticing.
They looked at her.
“You
have lots of twenties lying around?” Robbie asked with a smile. Marge
unscrewed the top of her red cane and pulled out two twenty dollar
bills.
“Eating
mayonnaise straight from a jar, LIFE giving people lemons, pickle juice
Mountain Dew and Zed and Wiley following each other all day. It could
not be a better start for the New Year,” Hadley said.
“One reason old people don’t do stupid things is there aren’t any left to do,” Mary Rose said.
“We just thought of some good ones,” Marge said.
They raised their wine glasses in salute. “Happy New Year,” they said together.
Notes from Joy
Here’s
where The BOOB Girls will be in January. Come, get hugs and laugh with
us. Even if you’ve heard it before, it’s good to get out, be with other
Burned Out Old Broads and realize again how beautiful you are. Come to:
Saturday, January 11, Author’s Fair: Sump Memorial Library, Papillion NE 2-4pm
222 North Jefferson, Papillion. 402-898-8830
Wednesday, January 15, The Landing, Lincoln, NE 2pm
PrevNext
3500 Faulkner Drive, Lincoln, NE 68516, 402-420-9355
Thursday, January 16, Immanuel Village, Omaha NE. 2pm
Wednesday, January 22, Trinity Village, Papillion NE 2pm
522 West Lincoln Street, Papillion, NE 68046, 402-614-5500
Monday, January 23: Hot Reads for Cold Nights: The BOOB Girls. 6pm (POSTPONED, TBA)
Council Bluffs Public Library 400 Willow Ave, Council Bluffs, IA 51503
(712) 323-7553
(712) 323-7553
Friday, January 24, Lakeside Village, Omaha NE, 1pm
17475 Frances Street, Omaha, NE 68130, 402-829-9020
Tuesday, January 28, Pacific Springs, Omaha NE, 1pm
805 South 173rd Court, Omaha, NE 68118, 402-691-8434
And if you want me to come annoy YOUR group, just get in touch:
Email: joy.johnson@msn.com
The BOOB Girls Facebook Page
I’ve begun writing BOOBS VI: From the Eye of the Moose
Robinson Leary will inherit a haunted Bed and Breakfast in Salem’s Crossing, NE.
More
good news to share – a group is working to make BOOBS One, the first
book into a Reader’s or Mini-theater. Watch your emails for progress. It
will be fun.
We have very few BOOB Girls Calendars left. Call Centering Corporation at 402-553-1200 or shoot me an email if you need another one. They went over really well.
Thanks for your love and support and for enjoying being the fifth BOOB Girl at Table 12.
We
are talking at Centering about having a couple of BOOB Girl coffees
during the year. Would you come if invited? After the success of the
calendar launch and Sip and Ship and BOOB Girls V launch, which was way
last spring, we’ve had requests for more parties. Hey – who doesn’t like
a party?? Let us know if this sounds good to you and we’ll do it!
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