Marge Aaron looked up and nodded.
Mary Rose McGill looked out the window and shivered. “Cold.”
Robinson Leary looked at her three friends and smiled. “I just found the best headlines of 2014. Listen to these, and she leaned toward the laptop computer she had plugged in beside their table. “These are actual headlines,” she added.
“Bugs with Wings are Flying Bug from the Redwood California extension service.”
The other girls looked at her.
“It gets better. Here’s one from an editorial page. Republican Turned Off by Size of Obama’s Package.” They laughed. Robinson Leary had their full attention. Hadley and Mary Rose both took off their glasses. Marge closed her book and leaned closer to Robbie. Robbie giggled.
“Tiger Wood play with own balls, Nike says.”
Marge shook her head. “We are SO BAD! “She leaned as far over as she could to look at Robbie’s computer. “There’s the winner so far!” She read it out loud. “Statistics show teen pregnancy drops off significantly after Age 25.”
Hadley laughed. “I bet that’s true.” Robbie pushed the computer toward her and she read the next one. “Federal Agents Raid Gun Shop. Find Weapons.”
“I want one, too,” Mary Rose said, sliding the computer over to face her. She scrolled up and down for a second or two. “Ah Ha! Another police report! “Marijuana Issue sent to A Joint Committee and this one, February 22. Police Arrest Everybody. Bet that cleaned up the town!”
It was the giggles that attracted Wiley Vondra and Alphonso Greatwood, both of whom were headed toward the soft-serve ice cream machine. They detoured toward the Burned Out Old Broads at Table 12. Without even a greeting, Wiley leaned over the computer. “Hey Greatwood. Get a load of this one, “Woman in sumo wrestling suit attacks ex-girlfriend in Gay Bar after waving to man dressed as a Snickers Bar. Why do you and I miss all the fun?”
Alphonso drove his scooter, The Mean Machine, up to the table and Mary Rose moved the computer closer to him. He looked, waited a minute then started to laugh. “Here’s my kind of justice. Man who kills lawyer gets new attorney. Let’s make our own headline. How about, Ice cream big hit in retirement community, proving how easily old people are amused.”
They stood up, pushed their chairs to the table and followed him into the Meadow Lakes Bistro where the ice cream machine stood waiting without a headline near it.
Notes from Joy
Come join me for laughter and hugs if you are anywhere near:
Oelwein, Iowa, on Saturday January 10th. I’ll be at the Oelwein Library at 11am with The BOOB Girls.
Menlo, Iowa Saturday, January 24, 2pm. Menlo Library
And if you are interested in having me come and annoy a group of your choice, get in touch.
joy.johnson@msn.com
402-639-2939
Last year I was privileged to have 80 talks and signings and every one was fun and laughter-filled.
The above blog will be somewhere in BOOB Girls VII: Ten Little Puritans. The book will be available in the summer and you’ll all be invited to the launch party. Until then, I give you a heart-felt blessing for 2015:
May your troubles be less
May your blessings be more
And may all kinds of happiness
Come through your door.
May your troubles be less
May your blessings be more
And may all kinds of happiness
Come through your door.
